I never expected to find Jesus again. But I was wrong.

But Jesus has found me.

I can no longer call myself an atheist. You see, I’ve given Jesus another try – and I’ve felt his power in my life once again.

It doesn’t matter how much I argue that the science doesn’t make sense. It doesn’t matter how much I argue that the Bible contradicts itself. It doesn’t matter how much I argue that history doesn’t bear out the stories of the New Testament. It does not matter how much I argue that God must be immoral because he allows “bad” things to happen. The only thing I know is this: Jesus Christ is real, and his salvific power has once again snared me in its grasp.

You see, friends, I know I’m a sinner. I know that I’ve violated the irrepressible will of God, and that I deserve the suffering and torture that awaits me upon my death. I know that my very nature is a slap in God’s face, and that nothing I do in this life could possibly make up for the insult I’ve made Him endure.

And I know that my only possible salvation from this spiritually decrepit state is to prostrate myself before the throne of Jesus Christ, to be washed in the blood of the Lamb, and to recognize that I am a pitiful whelp in dire need of His saving grace.

O we like sheep have turned every one to his own way. I turned away from the ways of the Lord to the ways that I considered ‘right’, without noting for an instant that the Lord is the true source of right and wrong, and that without him, no knowledge of right and wrong is possible. I saw myself as a new Adam, seeking to spurn God’s law and to eat the fruit of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.

I was arrogant, boastful, prideful, and without shame. I have no excuse, and deserve the harshest penalty possible under God’s perfect law.

And yet, that sinless savior, Jesus Christ, died that I might live more fully and more perfectly, without fear for the destruction of my soul. The Word was made flesh, and became sin for us, that we might escape that punishment that was rightfully ours.

Brothers and sisters, I beg you! Give up your foolish pride. Moderate your boastful spirit with a spirit of penitence. Admit your sinful nature and debase yourself before your God, that you might come into a closer walk with Him. Repent, for the kingdom of the Lord is at hand!


3 thoughts on “I never expected to find Jesus again. But I was wrong.

  1. Adam

    I just recently fell into this same boat my friend. And now i wish i could find the article i read that helped me deal with the contradictions in the Bible and whatnot, so i’ll do the best i can to boil it down for you.

    The Bible states that scripture is inspired by God. What does that mean? Does that mean it’s perfect and inerrant? Well, no. If it were, it would not have been inspired. It would have come directly from the mouth of God. Rather, the books of the Bible were inspired by God and how God touched the authors personally. Think about it. Each author has his own writing style and places emphasis on different points based on the message he’s trying to get across. This is most readily apparent in the Gospels, which often have events of Jesus’ life in different orders. So the Bible was inspired by faithful men of God who felt he wanted them to send a message.

    Now, the problem is that they come from different times and cultures than we do. And so you’ll run into things that may not agree with science, that contradict or even sound downright brutal (obviously Old Testament on this last point). But rather than focusing on each point singularly, look at the bigger picture. God took a bunch of barbaric savages who were downright brutal in their justice and, over the years, made much of humanity more like Christ. In the time of the Hebrews, human and animal sacrifices were commonplace, people (even children) were put to death in very brutal fashions over what would be minor offenses to us, “weaker” tribes and nations were either exterminated or enslaved. People were just flat out awful in ancient times. With the Hebrews, God began the process of making humanity better, as the way they waged war and treated the conquered was actually progressive for their time. By the time of Christ, it was time for an even greater leap forward, doing away with animal sacrifices and relying more on faith to enforce obedience than the threat of being stoned to death. The Bible is ultimately about how God loved us barbaric heathens so much, he orchestrated a final sacrifice to absolve us and showed us a better way to live for him. He did this in baby steps, realising that a lot of what he truly desired was so alien to us, we would’ve rejected it and never sought his grace. He had to create the right conditions and mindset that would allow us to willingly come to him for forgiveness all without taking away our free will. You can’t love God if you’re forced to.

    Anyway, it was lengthy and i hope it helped and inspired you in some way. God bless you on the rest of your life’s journey!


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